The search for a lost friend melloxmattxnear
by SloaneKato
Summary: This is my first fanfic I've ever written! It occurs shortly after L dies, when Mello leaves Wammy house.This features Mello wanting love, mostly, and his extreme search for L.
1. Chapter 1

Matt fell back, gloved hands covering his face, frustrated at the screen that flashed GAME OVER. His mind wasn't at it's height. He should have beat that game by now. He was only on level ten though. Something was wrong.

Mello got up from where he'd been sprawled across the couch. Stumbling from the head rush, he nearly crashed down to his knees next to the defeated gamer.

"Is it dead?" The blonde asked, poking Matt in the stomach.

Matt rolled over, groaning and swatting at Mello. "Leave me alone…." He muttered through the floor.

"It's just a game. It's not like it's your entire----well, you still have me!"

"Go away, Mello."

"Make me."

"Make you what?"

"God, Matt, your brain's mush now, isn't it?"

"So is yours," Matt said, stomach turning at the thought of grabbing a handful of brains. "Like raw ground chicken."

"Nasty." Mello said, and, taking a big bite of chocolate anyways, flipped matt onto his back and sat on his chest.

"You're nasty, Mello."

"What are you talking about? I, unlike some people, actually take showers regularly."

"Yeah. Chocolate Shampoo, chocolate soap, chocolate after shave, chocolate, chocolate, chocolate. Why can't you be normal?"

Mello leaned in closer to Matt, an inch closer and they would be touching. "You smell like popcorn and cigarettes, Matt. It's really pretty gross. You should quit eating popcorn and eat chocolate."

"Wow, you sure care."

"Of course I care! I'm the one who's always in your mouth!"

"If you don't like it, don't do it."

Mello made a 'oh…' noise, and got up, right before a weird banging noise came from the door. Mello flailed a bit as he jumped over the overstuffed chair he'd stolen from a hotel, and slammed into the wall. Matt turned away, holding down laughter. Mello opened the door. "Matt, it's for you~!"

"Tell them to go away, I'm dead."

"I'm awfully sorry, Misa-Misa, it seems like Matt is too depressed to see y---"

"No wait!" Matt said, jumping up and shoving Mello out of the way and into a wall.

Near glared up at Matt, his panda bear eyes lit up in a hidden laughter.

"Aughhhhhh Mello! You're such a fucking liar!" Matt said, taking a swing at Mello's face. Mello ducked under Matt's arm and wrapping his arms around Matt's chest, knocking Matt over with a "nya!" of what Matt interpreted as Mello's playful noise.

Mello got up off Matt, and yanked Near into the room by his arm. He shoved Near into a chair, and draped himself over the smaller boy. Mello caressed Near's pale face with one hand, making Near blush a bright pink.

Matt shook his head in a mixture of disgust and jealousy, and slammed the door of his room.

"Why Near, what ever are you here for, dear?" Mello said, fingers trailing down to Near's neck, making Goosebumps rise.

"I-I-I f-f-f-found some thing about L…." Near mumbled, beet red.

"Oh? And what would that be, Mister River?"

"I-I found the location of his grave…"

"And did you inspect this grave?"

"N-no….it's in Japan….."

"So?"

"W-well….I want you to go w-with me…."

"Oh?" Mello rubbed his chin as if deep in consideration. "Okay, I'll go. On one condition……"

***

"Whoa---oh god---sorry Mello!" Matt said, and quickly closed Mello's bedroom door.

Mello seemed unphased, and continued what he had been doing; making Near scream.

Matt shook his head, sinking to the floor. Why did his chest hurt so badly? He'd been with Mello before, he knew that Mello did get around a lot. This kind of thing happened a lot. A tear slipped out, and leaked slowly through his goggles, and down his face, dripping from his pointed chin. Soon they were flooding so fast that he had to take off his goggles. Why did he have the feeling that this time he wouldn't get Mello back in his arms?

Mello walked out, wearing only black boxers, and stopped before a sight he wouldn't normally see at a time like this. Or ever. Matt wasn't smoking out on the balcony. An unopened pack of cigarettes was in his back pocket, with his lighter. Unopened. Mello opened the sliding door silently, and grabbed Matt's ass, taking out the cigarettes and lighter in the process. A trick he'd learned from L. Matt jumped, and turned his face away.

"Not wearing goggles, not smoking, and loosing your game. What's up with you lately, Lover Boy?"

"Nothing's wrong with me, Mello. I'm just lonely."

"Are you _jealous_, Sir Matt?"

"No…" Matt said, turning towards the door. He hoped Mello couldn't sense that every inch of him was trembling, that his conscience was screaming yes, that he was jealous, more so than he'd ever been before.

"Do I make you nervous, Mattie boy?" Mello whispered in his ear, snaking his arms through Matt's, resting his open palms on his stomach, pressing his own body to Matt's.

"Mello, I----"

"Hush now, little kitty. Don't shed any more tears. It'll all be better soon." Mello said, voice low and deep, almost musical, his breathing was heavy, his body warm, despite his lack of anything but boxers.

"You're leaving me for Near, aren't you?"

"Shhhhhhh." Mello said, face resting in the crook of Matt's neck.

"ANSWER ME, DAMMIT!" Matt screamed, whipping around and slapping Mello across the face.

Mello grabbed his face, the sting bringing tears to his eyes, but they didn't spill over. Mello didn't cry often, for all that he was the most emotional person Matt had ever seen.

"Oh god….Mello….I'm sorry….I'm really sorry. I didn't mean to….I just--I just really don't want you to leave…."

Mello grinned. Not his happy grin. The I'm-going-to-fucking-kill-you grin. The grin he got whenever someone was stupid enough to hurt him. Matt backed away, tripping over the step behind him that led into the apartment. He looked up at Mello, blue eyes wide, all the color draining out of his body.

Mello had picked up the patio table, and was holding it above his head, looking down at Matt out of the corner of his eyes, grin now covering most of his face. He slammed the table down, with the force that was probably similar to that of a semi.

Matt, now covered in bruises and a table, let out a cry for help. Mello had broken the table, and grabbed the chair. Suddenly, a large warm mass fell on him, breathing hard. Mello had finally collapsed. Took long enough. Matt groaned as he gently moved the remains of the table out from under Mello, and, gasping from pain, Matt got up, lifting Mello in his arms. He laid the blond boy down on the couch, and collapsed next to him, wrapping his arms around him, burying his face into Mello's chocolate scented brassy hair.

"I love you Mello…." Matt whispered into his hair.

"I love you too, Chocolate Sunday….." Mello muttered in his sleep, rolling onto his side and burying his face into Matt's chest, seeking warmth.

Matt sighed, and closed his eyes, hearing the soft pad of socked feet crossing the floor to the front door, closing it softly, smiled. Near was gone. Mello was here.

"I want to stay like this forever, Mello, with you."

"Well I'm not sure about like this, but I'll stay with you."

"Holy shit!" Matt said, falling off the couch in shock. "I thought you were asleep!"

"Mm, I was woken up by this strange aroma…..popcorn, smoke, and Matt fear sweat." Mello said, yawning and stretching. "Go take a shower, then we'll talk."

Matt smelled himself. "Funny, I don't smell it."

"You can't usually smell yourself, dumbass." Mello said, rolling over, his head resting on one arm, planting his other hand on Matt's face. "You look like shit, did you get mauled or something?"

"Yeah, by a lunatic."

"Mm, you should really watch out for those types, Lover Boy."

"I would miss you though, Mello."

"What're you talking about? I'm always here…."

"Nothing, dear. I'll go take a shower now."

The hot water spilled over his head, steam covering the small bathroom. The water was loud, but he could still hear when the door was opened and closed. Through the nearly opaque shower curtain he could see a silhouette. They went to the sink, opening the medicine cabinet and taking out a bottle of pills before leaving, closing the door quieter than it had been the first time. He let out a breath he hadn't known he'd been holding in.

Matt curled up next to Mello, who'd fallen asleep on the couch, wearing one of Matt's shirts. Mello shifted to make space, curling his body around Matt protectively.

"Matt, you're wet! You asshole!" Mello grumbled.

"You're the one who told me to take a shower, Mello darling."

"Yeah, that doesn't mean cuddle up to me with your wet hair in my face, dumbass." Mello said, shoving Matt and laying on his back.

Matt climbed over Mello, feeling out of place doing so, but staying there. Water dripped onto Mello's forehead, his bangs back. "Hey Mello, what happened to your eyebrows?"

"Dear god, Matt. I've only been in an explosion twice this week."

"Told you hairspray's flammable…."

"You know what?"

"What?"

"Shut the fuck up."

"I love you too?"

"Maybe I will go with Near……"

"No!" Matt pinned Mello down to the couch. "Don't ever, ever leave me! If you go…..I'll….I'll kill myself!"

"Matt. Don't throw your life away over love."

"You're one to talk!"

"What the hell is wrong with you? Are you fucking PMSing, Matt? That's my fucking job!"

"You're so freaking obsessed with L that you're selling yourself for information that isn't even that great! Why the hell are you so fucking obsessed with him, when you know he's dead?"

"Because he's not dead! He can't be dead!"

"Why the hell can't you get it through that thick skull of yours that L isn't in hiding, that Kira really did kill him?!"

"Because L isn't stupid!"

"Fuck it. You're in love with him, aren't you? You don't love me, you probably don't even think of me as a friend. I'm just some toy to you, aren't I? Fuck it, I'm done with you." Matt said, getting off Mello, grabbing his vest, and slamming the front door.

"Matt….." Mello said, softly to the door. The tears welled up, and for once, flowed over. He fell forwards, the cushions of the couch muffling his sobs.

His cell phone rang, the ringer telling him it was Near. He took out his phone with shaking hands, lifting the phone to his ear and forcing a small 'hello' out.

"Mello?"

"Y-yeah?"

"Can you come here?"

"I-I don't think I can…" Mello said, his voice cracking and trembling, the tears still flowing from three hours ago, his nose running.

"It's really important, Mello."

"I don't think I can drive, Near."

"Are you drunk or something?"

"N-no."

"Then you have no excuse. Get over here ASAP."

"O-okay, Near. I'll be there….."

Mello closed the phone, and slipped his boots on. He walked out to the motorcycle, Matt had taken his car with him. A sob escaped his lips, the tears still flowing steadily. He started up the bike, and drove down the busy street, the air on his exposed knees causing Goosebumps all over his body.

Mello knocked on the door, brushing away tears and trying to hide his face as much as possible in his hair. Near's body guard opened the door, and half dragged Mello into Near's computer room.

"Hello, Mello," Near said in his normal chilled voice, not bothering to even turn around. "Have a seat."

Mello sat on the floor next to Near, not bothering to knock over the extensive House of Cards Near was building. Near stopped, shocked by the apparent kindness and looked at Mello, head turning slowly.

"Hello, Mello. Are you feeling particularly out of it today?" Near said, looking at Mello, who's face was hidden in his brassy long hair. A minute passed, and no reply. "Mello. Are you alive?" Near asked, and gave Mello a gentle shove.

Mello turned his head, glaring down into Near's gray eyes with his puffy blue tear leaking ones.

"What's with you? Are you on something, Mello?"

Mello stood up, and walked to the door.

"Mello?"

Mello paused in the door way.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

Mello nodded, turning around and closing the door. Near stood up, arms wide. Mello fell into them, knocking both of them down, crushing the house of cards. Mello buried his face into Near's white shirt, shoulders heaving with sobs.

"Mello… You do realize that I can't speak this language you've invented, right?"

"Matt left….." Mello sobbed, pulling away and rubbing his eyes.

"Matt leaves all the time."

"No, Near. I mean he _left._"

"He does that regularly."

"Near, I mean he's not coming back."

"He died?"

"No…."

"Then why are you crying?"

"Because he fucking hates me and now he's gone. I loved him so much, Near. And now he's gone. Everyone always leaves. What the hell did I do wrong?"

"If he's still alive, I don't see the problem."

"He broke up with me, you dumbass. It's over, and I don't want it to be."

"Mello, my offer still stands."


	2. Chapter 2

"Near, what the fuck is this?" Mello asked, staring at the dish of something slimy in the fridge.

"That would be octopus, Mello."

"Why the fuck is there octopus in front of my chocolate?"

"Well, Mello, it seems that there is no other logical place to put it, as the fridge was full in every spot other than that one."

"What the hell is this crap, Near? It's green! Is that normal?"

"Mello, that's cabbage."

"What. The. Fuck."

"Well, it's a cheap plant that is used in many dishes all over the world. You know those egg rolls you ate last night? There was cabbage in those."

"Excuse me, I think I'm going to puke."

"Please do so in the toilet, not on the floor."

"I'm puke where I damn well please, thank you very much!"

"If that's how you feel, I suppose I can't really stop you."

"You better believe it."

Near flipped his puzzle over, dumping the pieces all over the floor. He stood up, and walked over to the shelf, grabbing another 12540 piece puzzle and dumping its contents in a spot several feet away from the other. There was a trail of this, from Near's room to the shelf and starting to go towards Mello's room.

Mello didn't really want to know what Near was actually doing, but it was a real pain. It was harder to quietly walk across the apartment in the middle of the night to sleep with Near when he kept getting puzzle pieces stuck to his feet. Falling over trying to get them off always woke Near up, since Near was a light sleeper. Perhaps that was why he'd started to do it. So he wouldn't be caught sleeping. Not like Mello didn't know Near slept, considering Near _always_ passed out almost immediately after. After all, Near used to get nightmares when he was younger, and crawled into Mello's bed at night, needing to feel the safety of another body to keep away the nightmares. How had something that used to be so cute and cuddly turn into such an emotionless freak of nature?

Mello shook his head, stirring hot chocolate into hot milk. He stepped over the trail of puzzle and sat in the center of the couch, watching as Near repeated his obsessive trail building, wary of the smaller boy's rigid behavior.

"Do you have OCD, Near?"

"No, why do you ask, Mello?"

"Your trail is really pissing me off."

"I'm sorry," Near said, but continued anyways.

"Near, I'm going out today."

"Are you going to tell me every time you leave?"

"Are you asleep, Near?"

"What gives you that idea?"

"There's a hot pink chocolate duck on your head."

"….No there isn't." Near said, staring at him, but still reaching up, as if he wasn't sure.

"You're sleep walking. Holy shit. That's freaking hilarious, Near. C'mon buddy, lets get you to bed before you climb out the window or something." Mello said, finishing his hot chocolate and setting his cup on the arm of the couch and gripping Near by the shoulder.

"I'm not asleep, Mello…."

"Yeah, yeah, I'm sure."

"I'm not even tired, Mello."

"Too bad, you freak."

"Mello, where do babies come from?"

"The chocolate factory. Now shut up and sleep."

"Mello, do you eat babies?"

"Yes, Near, I eat babies."

"Are you going to eat me?"

"Om nom nom. There. Happy? You've been eaten." Mello said, biting Near's sleeve. This was getting old fast.

"Being eaten by you is fun."

Mello shook his head, obviously Near had either gone insane or was really out of it. Or perhaps both. He sighed, he wasn't going to get to go anywhere until night at this rate. He was starting to loose his tan, it was really not something he wanted to happen. "I'll stay in bed with you until noon, but then I really have to go, kiddo."

"Where are you going, Mello?"

"I'm going to look for L, since obviously you're not going to do anything. In Bed. Now."

Near crawled onto the bed, and looked at Mello, eyes hinting that he was in a daze. He didn't seem to understand he was asleep, but he didn't seem to think he was awake, either, considering he tried to walk through a wall on the short walk to Near's room. Some genius he was.

Mello slipped under the covers, wrapping his arms around Near, who was trying to sit up and walk around still. Near was an idiot, despite what people kept saying. Mello was definitely much smarter. Smart enough to actually sleep like a normal person. Mello grinned, and shoved Near down, and bored with fighting the boy, sprawled over Near's belly, his chin resting on Near's shoulder.

'_A shadow moved across the room, silent. Blood splattered on his face, a body fell from above, lifeless eyes staring at him, stuck in an eternal scream. He swallowed down a scream, knowing that if he made a sound his fate would be the same. He bit into his arm, trying to slow his heartbeat and calm his breathing. The tears flooded out, a tear falling to drop on the murder's bald head. The killer looked up, eyes flashing red in the odd lighting of the abandoned factory. He raised his gun. A gun sounded, and pain ran through his body. Was he dying? No, this couldn't be it. He had to take down the killer before he died, to avenge the deaths of all those before him-his parents, his brothers, his friends. To prevent this killer from killing any others. He swung down from his wooden railing, kicking the killer in the face with both feet, knocking the large person down. He grabbed the gun and shot, eyes closed. He shot again, and again, and again, each time bolder than the next, finally ending up laughing, laughing as he shot again, and again, as the gun ran out of bullets, and he started bashing in the skull with the gun, laughing uncontrollably, the blood now a lake, brain covered the ground. A man grabbed his hand, and he couldn't free the gun. He was held close, a voice whispering "stop, it's over, you're safe," into his ear. He closed his eyes------'_

And woke up in Near's bed, Near asleep under him. The clock read 10:30am; he'd been asleep for only half an hour. His heart was pounding, and he was sweating. What was that? He didn't remember that ever happening to him. He'd been at Wammy's house for as long as he could remember, which although wasn't very far back, was before this could have happened. Right? Mello slid off of Near's chest, lying next to him, arms around him. Near wasn't the kind who would curl into you, not anymore, anyways.

Mello's heart lurched. Matt. He'd been without Matt for three long months, stuck in this building with Near for most of it. He missed the way Matt would curl up into him, the way Matt always smelled like popcorn, smoke, and man. The way Matt's mouth always tasted like fire, the way he felt inside, the way he talked in that voice, the way he ran his fingers through Mello's hair when he thought Mello was asleep. The way Matt would sneak up on him from behind when they went out on a walk in the city, the way he'd leave marks on Mello's neck and ears and chest, the way he'd kiss so hard he'd leave Mello's lips bloody and stinging lightly.

Tears flowed over, and he buried his face into Near's shirt, shaking. He missed Matt more than anything. He didn't really love Near, and L was like his father. The only thing he really wanted was an ocean away, probably smoking a cigarette, leaning over the railing of a new boy's balcony, not thinking about Mello. That made Mello feel pathetic for being stuck on Matt still, making him cry harder. Then he felt like a baby for crying, which didn't help any either.

Near shifted, and one knee came up, catching Mello in the crotch. Mello gasped, and after he recovered enough, shoved a sleeping Near out of the bed. Near crashed with a large thud, hitting his head on the bedside table. One of the body guards came slamming into the room, and cradled Near in her arms, glaring at Mello, who was doubled over under the blankets.

"He's fine, dumbass," Mello said, rolling his eyes. He got up, wincing, and out of the bed. He put on his boots and slammed the door to the outside behind him.

***

Matt sat on the plane, staring at the back of the chair in front of him, tired of the kid behind him kicking his chair, the mother bitching at her husband, the person next to him leaning on him occasionally. He really hated not having money, flying low-class. But this was something that needed to be done; he was bored with the US.

Finally, they landed. He got off the plane, and caught his bag. Talk of Kira was floating on the air; he was getting awfully popular lately. Matt shoved his way through the streets, having no money to get a cab.

"Hello, kid." A mans voice said, vaguely familiar, and in English, not Japanese. Matt looked up, and saw a bit of black. He looked down, and met eyes that were disturbingly familiar glaring lazily up at him.

"You-you're!"

***

Mello walked passed the flower shop, the candy store he bought his favorite chocolate bars from, the small ramen stand with the man who looked like a creeper, the random blue sky scraper that was always dark.

The grave was small, hidden behind a large shrub, as if it wasn't meant to be found. There were no flowers, no cards, and no incense. The plate read "A friend who ate only sweets," nothing less, nothing more. Definitely L's grave. He looked around, and started digging.

Six feet deep, and nothing. No casket, no jar, nothing. What did that mean? L couldn't be dead, then, right? Or they had him burned, and were keeping the ashes. Near had said the man who took over after L was close by. Time for a visit.

Mello knocked on the door. A minute or so later and a blond girl opened the door. Her eyes were a bright hazel green with blue flecks.

"Misa Amane." He said, the words felt venomous leaving his mouth. "Is Light Yagami home?"

"Well…..you have to give me your name before I let you come in!" The girl said, blocking the door way.

"….The name's Beyond Birthday. Now let me in, I've given you my name."

"Beyond Birthday? Well okay….." Misa said, tilting her head before moving out of the way, and turning towards the stairs. "Light-kuuuuun!"

A Japanese man, pretty though he was, walked down the stairs, and slapped a hand to his forehead. "Misa, who the hell is this kid?"

"His name is Beyond Birthday!" Misa said.

"Go away." Light said, and turned around to go back up stairs.

"Wait!" Mello shouted, and grabbed Light's sleeve. "I just want to know what you did with my father's body."

"Your father?" Light squinted his eyes, as if he suspected a lie.

Mello shifted, scratching the back of his black human hair wig, trying to look nervous. "L is my father."

Misa gasped, Light shook his head.

"Oh, Light, this poor boy! How horrible!"

"Misa, your parents are dead too, remember?"

"But this boy probably never got to see his father! Light, we have to catch Kira!"

"Listen. I don't care what you do about Kira, unless Kira has my dad's body, which would make you guilty of knowing Kira, so you should probably just tell me what you did with L."

"He's over in the corner."

Mello crouched by the small shrine to L in the corner. "Misa…..do you think he's really dead?"

"Hmmm, well, he seemed pretty dead when he was burned…."

Mello looked down, eyes watering. Misa wasn't as stupid as she acted. But she might fall for tears. He let the tears slip over, and rubbed at his eyes.

"Oh….. Please don't cry, Mr. Birthday!" Misa said. "Will you feel better if Misa-Misa gave you a kiss?"

Before Mello could respond, Misa bent down and kissed him on the cheek. Mello faked a blush, just like L would have. "Thank you, Miss Misa." He looked at his watch. "I should probably go home; my brother might get worried about me…."

"Okay! Bye-bye, Mr. Birthday!" Misa said, closing the door gently behind him.

***

"Matt was here?"

"Yes, Mello. He came to drop of a box of porn."

"What?"

"Pictures of women naked, Mello."

"I know what porn is, dumbass. Why the fuck would he give me that?"

"I think he was trying to get rid of them, so he dumped them on us."

Mello grimaced. Obviously Near was testing him, to see if Mello would break out in tears.

"Whatever. Guess I have something to read, now." Mello said, grabbing the box and taking it to his room. He locked the door, and dumped the contents of the box onto his bed. No pieces of paper had been hidden in the stack. Mello opened one of the magazines, scanning the pages for anything written.

Half way through the first magazine, in a corner, several numbers were written in Matt's small sloppy penmanship. 1325. Code? No, that would be what others might think. Mello grinned. This was Matt and Mello's old address, back when they lived in Wammy house. 1325 was the number on the closet door that they first met in, when Matt got them both locked in the small cluttered room. Their room. The room that had brought them together. Mello laughed, high-pitched and hysterical, tears flooding his eyes. Matt was screwing with him. Matt came all the way to Japan to screw with his head.

He moved to the next magazine, scanning the pages. Nothing in this one. He moved to the next one. Nothing. And the next, and the next. Soon he was down to one, the very last one, the biggest of them all.

Inside, attached to the binding, was a letter. "Mello, or Near, or whoever else felt the need to examine all of the books in some hidden desperation of your inner creeper instinct, call me. My number is the same as it always was. And, I really hate to tell you, but you're a major creeper and need to get a life if you just scanned through all 20 books looking for a code. Good job, you creepy stalker, you've just won the game. Now quit reading this and call me, Mello."

Mello read the letter, his heart skipping a beat. Matt wanted to talk to him! He let out a squeal, and ran around his room, bouncing. Matt hadn't forgotten him! Mello opened his door, Near was sitting at the table playing with barbies.

"Oh, Mello, you're still alive?"

"Shut up and play with your dollies, Freak."

"And you're even back to your charming insults."

"I'm going out, see you later. Or maybe not."

"Don't die, Mello."

"Don't choke to death on your barbies…..oh, wait, go ahead."

"Have fun, Mello."

"Go die in a hole, Near." Mello said, and slammed the door, running out to the street, going to the park. He dialed the number.

It rang twice, and he answered with a groggy sounding "hullo." In the background was the familiar sound of a racing game.

"Mattie?"

"No, it's Kira."

"Dammit, Kira! Why do you have Matt's phone?"

"Mello, chill out. It's me. Did you really think I was being serious?"

"Well you sound like a monster on the phone," Mello said, puffing his cheeks out. "Sorry. Oh shit."

"Crash?"

"Naw man, I can see you from here."

"What? Really?"

"Yeah. Walk about thirty feet to the left."

"Okay…." Mello said, and walked to the left. He ran into the forest. "You're a tree?"

"Where'd you go?"

"Left."

"My left, not yours."

Mello growled, and walked the opposite way for sixty feet, and ran into a car, falling over. The car door slammed shut, a phone snapped shut, and a shadow moved slowly around the car.

"Mattie!" Mello squealed, and jumped up, throwing himself at the familiar body, tears spilling over. He breathed in the smell of smoke, popcorn, and sweat. One arm grabbed Mello around the waist.

"You're gonna ruin my vest doing that." Matt said, and took a drag on a cigarette.

"You deserve it, jerk." Mello said, burying his face into Matt's neck.

"Holy shit your cold. Haven't you ever heard of a coat? It's snowing."

"Then warm me up, Matt."

"Go make Near warm you up."

"Matt……." Mello's voice broke, and the tears poured out.

"What? You're obviously Near's boyfriend."

"No I'm not…. I'm just a heartbroken kid who's been crying his eyes out for three months who's finally gotten to see his love again and gets told to go fuck off and cry in his roommate's arms."

Matt took another drag on his cigarette, breathing the smoke out through his nose, eyes closing as he looked up at the sky. "Sorry babe."

"If you're sorry, take me home with you."

"Can't."

"Why not?"

"My roommate's very paranoid about people."

"So you have some one else…."

"No, otherwise I'd be with them, not you."

"Asshole."

"I have one, but that's got nothing to do with this."

"You're such a prick, Matt."

"You're really pale, and scrawny."

"Well, gee, I wonder why."

"So do I."

Mello let go of Matt, and slapped him across the face.

"You're just screwing with me aren't you?"

"And if I am?"

"I'll fucking kill you, Matt."

"Great. Anytime."

Mello kneed Matt in the crotch and stormed off. "Suicidal jerk wad." He muttered, kicking a stone at a tree. He stomped back to the apartment, and slammed the door behind him.

"Oh, Mello, you're back."

"Shut it, Near. I'm not in the mood." He growled, and stomped to his room, slamming the door and locking it before collapsing onto the bed. He didn't feel like sleeping, didn't feel like crying or fucking or reading or eating. He felt numb. Like he would never move again.

Someone picked the lock on his door and cut the chain, but Mello didn't move. He didn't move when icy fingers touched his throat, didn't respond when his name was called, didn't respond when they laid down on the bed next to him, running their fingers through his long hair lovingly. Didn't respond when they started talking about things that had happened to them, or when they trailed their finger down his spine. He didn't move when he was flipped over onto his back, his eyes open and unseeing.

"Mello. I know you can hear me. Cut it out." The person said, waving chocolate in front of his face.

An hour passed, and the person slept next to him, one arm across Mello's body, muttering in his sleep. Mello closed his eyes, and didn't open them again, not when the person next to him woke up and poked him and grabbed him everywhere and not when he was shaken.

Lips met his, but they weren't Nears. They were soft, but different from the young lips Near had. They weren't rough enough to be Matt's, and there was no smell of smoke or popcorn or sweat. There wasn't really a scent at all. Mello opened his eyes, only to realize that there was no one there.

Was he going crazy? Would he end up just like A and BB? Committing suicide or killing people? Mello sat up, it was only 6 am. He got up either way, because it was cold in this room and he felt watched. He whirled around, seeing that his locks had been broken. On Mello's desk sat a basket. A basket filled with chocolate. Mello danced a little on the inside, and opened the basket.

A tape was in the basket, buried among the chocolate. There was no card, though. He popped the tape into the VCR he'd stolen from a hotel one day.

A face appeared on the screen. Panda-bear eyes, no eyebrows. There was soft-looking short black hair, unlike L's hair, nothing like Near's. But the voice---that familiar lazy accent, was so unmistakably L's that Mello gripped the screen, as if he could climb in and have his mentor back. The L-like man was talking to someone. Matt, judging from the familiar gaming stance, goggles down. They were speaking Japanese, Matt stumbled on his words a lot, but the other one spoke clearly and quickly enough that Mello had to assume that he'd been speaking it for a very, very long time. Not a native, but definitely well learned.

Had Matt left this video? If it really was L, this video would hardly have been possible unless L knew and wanted him to know he was safe. It was obvious that the roommate was L.

Words flashed on the screen. "He said you could come over. When you get your lazy ass up, call me and I'll pick you up."

Mello flipped open his phone, dialing Matt's number.

"Mello, are you finally up?"

"Yeah, now get your ass over here. I wanna see daddy."

"Daddy?"

"Yep."

"Whatever, I'll be there in about fifteen minutes. Wear something not sluttish, will you?"

"I love you Matt…"

"I love you too, babe, but I really need to drive right now."

"Okay…. I guess I'll see you soon…." Mello said, but was hung up on before he could finish.

Mello walked to his closet. "Something not sluttish…. Shit….. Do I even own anything that fits that description?" Mello pulled out a pair of slacks and a black long sleeved shirt. What he'd worn as a kid.

"Near, I'm going out."

"Have fun, Mello."

"Pick up this damn place, you've trashed it."

"I suppose I have, haven't I?" Near said, glazed eyes moving slowly across the room.

"And go to a doctor first if you're sick."

"I'm not sick."

"Whatever." Mello said, closing the door behind him and going out to the corner of the block.

A red car pulled up, the shaded windows blocking any chance of him seeing into the car.

"How much do you cost?"

"Depends, how long do you need me?"

"Oh, I dunno, a night or so."

"Dinner and chocolate. Like, a big ass crate of chocolate."

"Sweet. Get in, babe."

Mello climbed in, leaning his head on the drivers arm.

"I can't drive if you do that."

"I missed you, Mattie."

"You just saw me earlier today."

"You mean you just raped my mouth when I was passed out on my bed, locked in my room."

"I didn't rape your mouth; I was trying to wake you up."

"I was tired; being a heartbroken manwhore takes a lot of energy!"

Matt made a weird noise, half laugh half snort with his nose. "Manwhore…" He muttered, and made the noise again.

Matt stopped the car in the back of what looked like an abandoned factory. It was uncomfortably similar to the one in his dream, but then again, most factories would be. He clung onto Matt's waist, mostly because he had, once again, forgotten to wear a coat. Matt pressed several buttons on the door, and it was opened. Matt detached Mello from his waist, and led him up a flight of stairs, unlocking a green metal door at the end of the stairs. Inside was one bed, a TV, a computer, a miniature kitchen, and two doors. One was closed, the other was a bathroom.

"Ryu. I'm home."

Out from under the bed crawled a nearly bald man in a red long sleeved t-shirt, and black jeans. Panda bear eyes.

"Daddy!" Mello squealed, and tackled "Ryu" in a giant childish glomp.

"Hello, Mello. I don't remember being your father."

Mello released his 'victim' and squirmed back into Matt's arms. "You're the only person I look up to as a person…"

"Oh thanks, babe." Matt said, sarcasm evident.

"You're younger than me, Lover Boy. I can't exactly look up to you." Mello said, turning around and nuzzling his face into Matt's neck.

Ryu cleared his throat.

"Sorry….." Mello said, looking down at his feet.

"Matt, I'm going out for a while. Keep it to your room or the bathtub, please."

Matt nodded, and Ryu left.

"Matt……"

"Yes, Mello?"

"Are you really back?"

"I don't know about back, but I'm back with you."

Mello smiled, and buried his face into Matt's shoulder. "Don't ever leave me again, Mattie. I think I might drown everyone if it ever happens again."

"I'm sorry, Mello." Matt said, and started walking.

"No."

"What? I don't really think you need to watch me take a piss, Mello. There's no window in the bathroom, and I don't fit down the drain."

"You better come back, or I'll take all your video games hostage." Mello said, and grabbed one of the cases, holding his pocket knife up to the center of the label.

Matt held his arms up, and grinned, backing up into the bathroom, and closed the door. A minute or so later, he came back out. "Now put the game down, and put the knife away, and you can have me anyway you want me."

Mello set down the game, and set his knife down on the television. "Where's your bed, Sir?"

"Behind the closed door of magical wonders."

Mello rolled his eyes, grabbed Matt's icy hand, and dragged him into the room, closing the door with his foot. "Pants off. Now."

"Yes, Master." Matt said, but made no move.

Mello grinned, and shoved Matt backwards onto the bed, his hand supporting Matt's head. He nibbled lightly on Matt's lip, moving to Matt's ear, and down his neck, moving back to Matt's mouth. Matt bit down lightly on Mello's bottom lip, drawing blood which he licked off of Mello's lips before catching Mello's tongue with his.

****

Mello groaned, freezing cold. Matt was gone, the spot next to him was cold. Probably gone out for a smoke. He curled his knees into his chest, convulsing more than shivering, burying himself into the blankets. The clock on the wall told him it was around eight in the morning. Mello felt around for his boxers, which had been thrown over the lamp. He put them on under the covers, too cold to get out from under the blanket. The boxers were cold. He was too cold to sleep. Mello got out of the bed, picking up Matt's shirt; it was too dark for him to find his own clothes. He opened the door, and Ryu glanced over at him, nodding towards the outer door. Mello smiled his thanks, and walked out of the living space, finding Matt leaning out a window, shirtless chest purple from the cold. He glanced over at Mello, and took a deep drag on his cigarette.

"Hey babe," he said, holding out his free arm to let Mello latch on. "Why're you up so early?"

"Your room's too cold to sleep in alone."

"I wouldn't know, I don't usually sleep in my room. I pass out in front of the TV."

"You need a life, Matt."

"You are my life, Mello."

"I love you too, Mattie."

"You make me sound like a girl when you call me that."

"But you're so cute, I can't call you Matt!"

"You're so pretty, I can't call you Mello!"

"I take pride in my good looks, thank you very much!"

"And the best part is, you're actually worth the thirty dollars worth of chocolate."

"Matt!" Mello said, slapping Matt on the arm, blushing slightly.

"You're the one who sells their body, not me."

"I don't do that anymore!"

"Psssh, sure you don't."

"Hey, Matt, you wanna know what I did?"

"What did you do, Mello?"

"I met Misa Amane, and she said 'Wow, that Matt sounds like a real prick!' and kissed me on the cheek!"

"No fucking way."

"It's true; she kissed me on the cheek!"

"You lie."

Mello grabbed Matt's cigarette hand, and took the nearly gone smoke from Matt's grip. "You're going to get burned!" He said, and rubbed the cigarette out with his shoe. "I'm going to get my own place, Matt. Do you want to live with me again?"

"I guess I don't have a choice either way, do I?"

"Fuck no you don't."

"Yes, Master."

"You really need to quit playing those games, Lover Boy."

"Yes, Master. Please don't hurt me, Master. Meow."

"Dear god, have you lost it?"

"No more than you have, darling."

"Then I guess we're screwed, huh?"

"You bet."

"Please don't get yourself killed, Matt."

"Well, I wasn't exactly planning on dying anytime soon," Matt said, holding Mello to him. "And I won't do anything riskier than normal unless you want me to."

"If you die, I die."

"Mello, don't be rash. You'll find another if I go."

"No I won't, Matt. Because I'll be dead, and I don't think I'll be going to the same place as you."

"Sorry, my little angry Russian, but I'm gonna rot in the dirt, and so are you."

"I know that. But I'm convinced your ghost will be outside Misa Amane's window."

"Yeah, probably. You can watch her with me, if you want."

"I don't want to be included in your pervy adventures!"

"Well, we could probably fuck outside Near's window, if you want. No guarantee he'd see us, but then again, Near's pretty strange."

"Why would we give him free ghost porn?"

"That's a good point. You really are a lot smarter than me, Mello."

"Of course I am, you're a dumbass!"

"Ouch." Matt said, pretending to wince, his smile wide. He wrapped his arms around Mello, point chin digging into Mello's neck. Mello wrapped his arms around Matt, closing his eyes and breathing in the fresh smoke smell of Matt's hair. "I love you, Mello."


End file.
